This Blog is dedicated to darling Chloe. One of the gentlest souls to grace the earth, spreading sweetness, love and light wherever she went. Photo is shared with permission from Chloe’s soulmate & guardian.
It is important to honour the grieving process, allowing us and our animals to express ourselves fully at this time.
I touched on this subject last June from the point of view of the soul transitioning and from the capacity of being a soul midwife. This part of my role, conducting Animal Communication and Reiki treatments during an animal's final hours, benefits not only the animal but the human as well. This allows the process to be a peaceful one with no unanswered questions or regrets.
It is without a doubt, the saddest time in a pet guardian’s life, and needs to be accepted as such.
I have heard people say “they are just animals, get over it”.
In my humble opinion and experience, there is no such thing as ‘just an animal’.
Each animal is unique and special, and in a lot of cases that animal is the most constant source of love in their humans’ life. (Some dogs and cats can live into their teens & twenties whilst birds can live for decades).
Quite often the animal is the filter that the human processes all their life decisions through, such as how long they can be away from the house at any given time, including day trips and holidays. Decisions around these outings or trips are a lot easier to say yes to if your furry companion can come too, then there's no guilt.
How can you help your human friend if they have to say goodbye to their best friend?
It is important to note each person will process their grief differently. These are broad guidelines and come from personal experience of my own pets passing and being witness to other people's processing:
● Just hold space for them. Allow them to talk about anything, even if it doesn't make sense, there will often be tears in inappropriate places
● Don't avoid the subject or avoid acknowledging the animal (or the animals’ name)
● Check in regularly
● Ask if they need anything, sometimes there are practicalities involved. Perhaps you can help in this capacity
● Don't try and take over, it is important that the guardians are sure of their decisions, so there are no regrets later. By all means allow them to talk it through with you
● Help the person organise a memorial garden or ceremony, something to honour the animals life and their time together
● Last but not least. No judgement or unnecessary opinions
Grief seems to come in waves. And in the early days, there is a sort of numbness that seems to have a self-preservation quality to it. Then there is a bit of anger, questioning, unbelievable sadness, memories and flashbacks, good and bad.
It really is a deep process that has its own timing, there will always be an emptiness and a yearning to have more time with them.
Allow the tears to come when they need to and only surround yourself with people and animals who have your best interests at heart.
It is important to remember the good times and the wonderful memories that you have made together.
By all means allow another furred friend into your life, make sure you are not trying to replace the one you have just lost. And see the new relationship with fresh eyes and understand the new soul’s individual nature.
I find hanging out with other animals really healing. As animals recognise grief and will assist you with lightening your spirit and mending your heart. Animals are amazing healers.
Also, expect visitations from your friend. It may be in dream state, you can feel them, smell them or just feel their presence.
Another question I am often asked is:
Do Animals Grieve?
Yes, absolutely. Although animals live in the moment, they still have heart & soul attachments with humans & animals.
As individuals, they express themselves uniquely. Some require love & affection while others require space & reflection.
What I do know. When they transition, their souls are still contactable & they still exist in our lives as guardian angels.
How can you assist a grieving animal?
● Be with them as much as possible
● Take them for walks, engage with them
● Accept that their eating habits may change for a while
● Leave something of the animal or humans clothing/blankets close by so they can snuggle up to them
● Shower them with love, but don't pity them
● Try and get them to play, do some of their favourite things
● Understand that you are both grieving and be kind to one another
Animals are proof that love really is eternal.
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